The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
