If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
