There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
