How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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