so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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