Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
