one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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