She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
