I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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