His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
