garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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