i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
