Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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