who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
pop tarts are not kleenex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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