you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
