if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
