I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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