he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
