We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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