another moral hangover. fuck.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
