Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have fence marks all over my body
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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