I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
