If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
