Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
