At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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