i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
