Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
