..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
