singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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