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you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
