I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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