im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
