I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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