You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
God, you're like boner-b-gone
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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