I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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