We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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