just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
