Your tits are I can't wait for
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
