I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
