So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
