I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
