It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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