Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
ttyl tear gas
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
