He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
