You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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