I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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