so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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