We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
