and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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