you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
