I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
