Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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