I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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