If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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