This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
