i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
