Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
