When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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