I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
