I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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