I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
