He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
